Nobody Better Call Me Doogie Houser

(???) ☾

medicalmysterytour asked: Did you apply to miller at miami? I think i saw a username the same as your blog title on the SDN thread for the school, just curious!

I knew it wasn’t long before the evil SDN hive-mind claimed my identity as its own!


I hate to admit that I did have an SDN account for awhile as a pre-med, but my username was not eclipperton. And I won’t say whether or not I applied to Miami…

Ohhh you meant “nobody better call me Doogie Houser.” Still no. And that is actually inspired by a different novel, non-fiction this time. In Sheri Fink’s 5 Days at Memorial, two investigators refer to one of the doctors at the flooded hospital as Doogie Houser because he’s young looking. That would piss me off.

Anonymous asked: Why don't you answer my questions???


Nah. JK. It’s cause they’ve already been asked, homie. Like, a lot of times. I’ll get around to making an FAQ maybe, but really it’s just the ‘why MPH’ question and the ‘zOMG I got a B-’ question that I get asked over and over. Until I make an FAQ you’ll just have to scroll past the Hemingway quotes, I guess.

Huh. I remembered this game being more fun. Touché med school.

Huh. I remembered this game being more fun. Touché med school.

Anonymous asked: I'm so jealous you get to wear a white coat! They're banned in England so I don't enough pockets for all my stuff *grumble grumble*



Honestly, I hate wearing it. It makes me feel like I look pretentious, and med students have to wear short white coats (as opposed to MDs and other graduated healthcare professionals who wear long white coats) that never fit or flatter. I never wear it unless I am actually going up to the wards to do something- I take it off when I’m walking in and out of the hospital or even just sitting in the neuro residents room.

And, you know, they are vectors for disease, which is why they are banned!!

In the ED aka my favorite place here no one wears white coats, usually scrubs or business casual. I prefer that.

I like them because they hide the wrinkles in my dress shirts…

I was pretty stoked on getting a white coat at first, but I agree with AD. I thought it would look pretty cool but everyone in my class looks dorky—in a conceited way not in a good way. I do like that it tricked some patients into thinking I was a doctor, but that’s really the only perk.

Anatomy Practicals

Sup fellow M1s/folks taking anatomy/folks that want to practice anatomy! I think the U Mich site is pretty well known, but for anyone that doesn’t know about it; it’s a good, free, way to brush up before a practical.

Now I just have to work on a song for the entire musculoskeletal system… The thigh bones connected to the hip bone, the hip bones’ iliac crest is the origin of ileocostalis which is innervated by dorsal primary rami and supplied by the intercostal and lumbar arteries. The ileocostalis is connected to the rib bone. Etc…

Anonymous asked: One of my instructors insisted that in medical school you have to practice on each other. I know that med students practice drawing blood and stuff on each other but he was also adamant that med students also do pelvic exams on the female students and vice versa. Is that actually true? I want to be a doctor but I don't know how I'd feel having all of my male classmates getting up close and personal with my lady bits when I haven't even let my boyfriend do that in the significantly more fun way.




Drawing blood on each other yes. I did that (my antecubital veins are fabulous) That is normal. But pelvic exams….





If any instructor is trying to tell you that you need to let your classmates practice pelvic exams on you, please report that person and run away.

There are lovely people, saints really, who are trained to teach that and are handsomely reimbursed for letting medical students learn how to do that exam on them. That is not your job just because you have a vagina.

Rude. Ew. I mean, did he tell the male students to drop their trousers and let their classmates learn how to do a male genital and digital rectal exam? Turn and cough guys! Wtf.

Brb, got the heebie jeebies from how creepy that instructor is.

Please excuse me briefly while I go vom errwhurr. When I get back, Anon, we are running away, far away, and calling a lawyer to press sexual harassment charges.

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The closest anyone ever got to my bits in school was looking for my femoral pulse… and I nearly punched the doctor that did it because she didn’t warn me. In OMM when we had to check each others pubic tubercles, we were good about warning each other. 

I would prefer not to have any of my colleagues, regardless of gender, practice this examination of the inguinal canal on me. I didn’t even know…